euu typedd*:
blog
(Friday, November 9, 2007-)
+7:51 AM]*
# engulf me ....-
its been a million years i have not blog..... yeah you can say i was busy as hell...well i was training for a race called river regatta and yeah we kinda won..2nd that is....will upload some photo soon...
well i dont know where to start off. to tell exactly what happen. well it was working out pretty well between me and her.. eventually not tonight.
well yeah maybe she has a lot of problem with her family and friends. well maybe am i not understanding.?? i dont know. i do have my sadness too but never made such a fuss.. is my heart fill with pain... yeah i feel soo.... im trying all i can to be a better man. i try making her happy with jokes and laughter and always cared about her. i also try to look fit and nice for her. i try to spend time with her. and yet im not a good man. i gave her my listening ears. and always gave her what i thinks shall be done. not only that my whole family is behind her.
oh anyone tell me tell me what should i do...why is every other man look so appealing to her except me. have i not been trying to be a good man.,.??? why is she always hating me.... engulf in sadness yeah i am......
I LOVE YOU SHAMIRA!!! IM SORRY....
WITHOUT YOU IM EMPTY ...I CANT GO ON THIS WAY...
I LOVE YOU....
IM SORRY HONEY...
Comming bcak to the ground for you to come back again
the story ends like this
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+7:51 AM]*
# engulf me ....-
its been a million years i have not blog..... yeah you can say i was busy as hell...well i was training for a race called river regatta and yeah we kinda won..2nd that is....will upload some photo soon...
well i dont know where to start off. to tell exactly what happen. well it was working out pretty well between me and her.. eventually not tonight.
well yeah maybe she has a lot of problem with her family and friends. well maybe am i not understanding.?? i dont know. i do have my sadness too but never made such a fuss.. is my heart fill with pain... yeah i feel soo.... im trying all i can to be a better man. i try making her happy with jokes and laughter and always cared about her. i also try to look fit and nice for her. i try to spend time with her. and yet im not a good man. i gave her my listening ears. and always gave her what i thinks shall be done. not only that my whole family is behind her.
oh anyone tell me tell me what should i do...why is every other man look so appealing to her except me. have i not been trying to be a good man.,.??? why is she always hating me.... engulf in sadness yeah i am......
telll me fuckin tell me what should i do!!!!!!!!!!!!
the story ends like this
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(Thursday, October 25, 2007-)
+11:02 PM]*
# here it comes..-
been somedays not blogging...busy? nah.... not so i guess...well holiday is 2 more weeks counting....
finally a break...
whats up so far in my life hm noting much. but yeah its getting clearer now as inuation between me and her.. told my dad the real situation can see that he is kinda of dissapointed but lets face the music.. life was never fair....its a big paradox.
well im feeling way better now.. really.. for all the while im missing her and really need her...now i feel that i just have to let time heals.... time is everything for me now.. quote dad" you have done all that you can do to change and be better for her. if it doesnt comes back than thank everything that she had made you realize your mistake" well i agree to that a statemet. shamira thank you dear for making me for what i am now..
im listening to this song by bread titled if... well on of the best love song i ever heard...somehow...i still miss her presence in my life....
dear...
i know that its a million times i want you in my life....but out of that million times there is this one THIS one time i would really really really want you in my life.... missing you dear little star...
love ellf
the story ends like this
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(Tuesday, October 23, 2007-)
+8:16 AM]*
# dan i stand to let it go??-
today was an ok day i guess.... arghhh i guess i jus need something to throw my anger and jealousy toooo.......
like who wow he is so "romantic" yar maybe im not...for everything i am... but thats ok i guess... cauz im who i am ...i will be this way and that makes me special.. im no sweet talker like all the guys.. talk so sweet for what....to get laid cheaply??? f@#^ off... really....
i used to be that sweet talker guy..but guess why im not like that no more....cauz i dont want to break your heart.... saying all those things just to make you feel that i love you.... well i know that they are more things one can do...to prove how much you love someone....
can someone sweet talk the rest of his life???? yar say im immature or sum thing....i really dun mind no more... maybe im too dull honest and just to straight about life... tELL me i dont deserve you at all because i dont do sweet things..??
did i never do sweet things....? life....was never fair and will never be.....
the story ends like this
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(Sunday, October 21, 2007-)
+9:37 PM]*
# i cant stand not trying...-
the story ends like this
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(Friday, October 19, 2007-)
+7:05 AM]*
# what can i do..-
today was like an other usual day nothing much. as usual school with all the meetings... however there was something different today. my dragon boat team feel like it is falling apart. people are quiting and its hard for me to let it happen so a meeting was held up and i guess we are working to this problem together.
i am hearing this music by the corrs.. i think it is a very very nice song. its what i would want to say to shamira for al my life..and its all written in words. read the lyrics it might inspire hear the song tooo...
I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we have talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what i'm doing wrong
Chorus:
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
There's only so much I can take
And i just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better yeah
If I don't try and I don't hope
(Chorus)
No more waiting, no more aching,
No more fighting, no more trying...
Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly
(chorus, 2x)
Love me Love me Love me..
if you peeps have heard this song than thats great its a very2 nice song. and to the little star i always like..this one yeah this song if for you
especially for you....
sometimes i feel so guilty for jennifer. like hell i feel like i broke up her feelings in a million pieces.. its like is it because i always break peoples heart
that i end up to have such a karma. maybe..bu even if i do.. star would feel hurt i guess....but hell yeah im hurt... ever since i vowed to
be for her...i will always be..till the end....i just want to be truthful and pure to her... my little star.....
well for all that it is... i just dont know.. i think she has a new guy that loves her as much and she admits that she liked her... who ma i to object...
im walking on already...sad....
life oh please be merciful to me and give me another chance...human make mistakes....oh god please....
the story ends like this
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(Wednesday, October 17, 2007-)
+7:08 PM]*
# walk the walk...-
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i miss you dear...im sorry
my understanding test is gong to be over soon. means holiday is coming. Alot of things happen in my life so far.. sometimes i feel lost. to start with. i met my ex yesterday. wow finally. she is so sweet and adorable like she used too..we met to study. wow she is getting smarter and i feel so happy for her. marked her maths paper and it was good.. excellent.. shamira you really have improved.
Funny tough yesterday when i met her firdaus call her. wah so romantic sey she.. but somehow i feel so jealous don't know why maybe because i still do like her. yesterday i talked to her everything . like finally i express almost everything to her. and i cried last night cauz i felt stupid. stupid to be making this those mistakes. like my dad said to me. " boy why do you treat her that way when all your life she was there by your back!" whenever i think about it i really2 feel like an idiot. shamira..
i realize my mistake and i will never do it again.. im sorry . for now i really am lost. like i really want shamira back in my life and be a normal couple and be happy. since i realize my mistakes ....i never would want to do it again on the other hand i feEl so bad that i dont feel that i deserve her.. to my dearest shamira. i pray for your happiness.. in whatever you do. please forgive me for everything i have done wrong to you. i do always love you. maybe i have told you that a million times. but i realize that money and words is not love is all about.... i accept all my wrong doings...i deserve all this...
feeling so emotional. OH GOD.... FOR ALL THE THINGS YOU GAVE ME....ALL I WANTED WAS HER!....please do everything to me.. show me to be with her again....
lost and in despair..
the story ends like this
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i miss you dear...im sorry